


no.1 party anthem

by jimlafleur



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Multi, falling in love with your best friend's boyfriend au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:04:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3089663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimlafleur/pseuds/jimlafleur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you know how much I want to take you out to dinner?</p>
            </blockquote>





	no.1 party anthem

**Author's Note:**

> for [emma](octaviaing.tumblr.com/) who requested _ages_ ago for finn/bellamy with the au 'falling in love with your best friend's partner.'

"So, what’s he like?"

Finn watched as stars appeared in Raven’s eyes. She brought her hands up to her face and exhaled as she decided how to reply. “He’s…” She closed her eyes and shook her head as she spoke. “He’s the prince that every princess dreams about.”

Finn snorted, and after a shove from Raven, she laughed too. “Okay, that does sound a little cheesy. But I’ve got to give him some credit, you know. For being special enough to charm a gal like me.”

He’d known Raven his whole life. They were neighbors when they were little, but her mom was never home, so she always came over Finn’s. They would play basketball out on the driveway, go swimming in the lake near their neighborhood, and build snowmen when winter came around. When the time came for them to start school, they were put in the same kindergarten class. Years later, they shared many classes in junior high. However, once it was time to begin high school, it was harder and harder for Finn and Raven to spend time together. She was the smart one, and took all the advanced classes. Finn wasn’t dumb, but he wasn’t nearly as smart as her. Furthermore, she didn’t need to rely on Finn or his family for support anymore. Her and her mother moved across town to a smaller, more affordable apartment, and thus, it became rare for Finn and Raven to see each other.

But once they graduated, their friendship budded again. Currently, they’re attending colleges not too far away from each other, and being newly independent people, it’s easier to make decisions for themselves. Despite the fact that the workload from high school to university is increased, somehow Finn and Raven are able to find more time to spend with each other. They meet up a few times every week, and they go out to parties, and sometimes Raven cooks for him to make up for the countless times his family fed her. They’re the greatest of friends, just like they were when they were kids, but now they’re a little bit more… mature.

Sometimes, Raven comes to him with stories of her relationships. The last time, it had been a girl named Clarke. Raven had been head over heels for her, and Finn almost believed they were going to move in and adopt a kid. Then, a few weeks after they got together, they got into a fight about whether they were going to move to Provincetown or San Francisco, and they broke up.

Finn never knew with Raven. She’d held a relationship with one guy for 2 years, then something happened and they were done. She waited half a year for the next one to come around, then that ended after only a few months. Sometimes she jumps right back into dating, sometimes it takes her a lifetime to recover. Each time it’s something different, but Finn always suspects, _this one will never last_. Usually he’s right -- but the way Raven talked about this new guy made him hesitate.

“What did you say his name was? Bellamy?” Finn asked, taking a bite out of his hamburger. When she mumbled a _mhm_ , Finn nodded his head approvingly. “Alright, then. When do I meet him?”

* * *

_We spent all day setting up. You can’t just not come._

Finn squinted at the text. It was 9 o’clock on a Friday evening, and he had just begun to dig into his History homework that he wanted to get done. But then he heard his phone vibrate and Raven’s first message appeared: _Party tonight @ 10, can you bring snacks?_

 _I have homework to do, and you hardly gave me any heads up. Maybe next time,_ He replied to her most recent text. He wanted to see Raven, he really did -- it had been at least a week since their last meet up and he missed her incredibly -- but it had been a very long and exhausting day. He wasn’t up for the drive, despite it being only 10 minutes, and he didn’t want to socialize either. All Finn was interested in was chilling out, finish the majority of his homework and maybe watching a movie. His mind was made up.

But then Finn got her next text: _Bellamy will be there._

That made him pause. Raven and Bellamy had been dating for almost a month now, and Finn still hadn’t met him. Raven always had good things to say about Bellamy, but Finn still wanted to make his own opinion on the guy. Strangely enough, Finn was feeling a fatherly instinct over Raven; she’d never had a dad to tell her his opinion on the men she chose, nor to give her advice when her heart was broken. It was Finn’s responsibility, or at least that’s what he believed.

So, even though he had an essay to write, he picked up his phone and typed his reply. _OK, I'll be there with some Doritos._

He could picture Raven's satisfied smirk as he grabbed his jacket and locked his door behind him.

Despite having to drive across town to pick up a bag of Doritos, Finn still arrived at Raven's early. It was a nice, medium sized house with a relatively large property. The exterior was painted a faded white, and leaves were scattered all across the lawn. There was an old basketball hoop positioned next to the driveway and a swing set in front of the porch. It was obviously a house to raise a family in.

Of course, Raven wasn’t having any kids soon, so this wasn’t her house; from previous visits, Finn learned that this was Bellamy’s childhood home. Him and his sister had grown up here, and Bellamy took full ownership of the house after his mother died and his sister moved across state.

“You’re moving in with him _already_?” Finn had asked the first time he stepped inside. Raven just shrugged and smiled at him.

Not thinking much of it, he opened the door without knocking and cleared his throat. "Hey Raven, I'm --" he started, but his words caught in his throat when he saw her, sitting on the couch wrapped in Bellamy's arms, her lips red from his rough lips. Finn froze and he almost dropped the chips.

"Finn! You're early," Raven yelped, jumping out of her boyfriend's arms. Finn watched as she wiped imaginary dirt off her pants, while Bellamy slowly turned around in his seat. The words of a reply were on Finn's lips, but then Bellamy's eyes met his. They were dark, unsettling, and Finn couldn't tear his eyes away.

"I bought Doritos," Finn said.

* * *

After a few hours, it turned into a typical college party. Finn observed several people from Raven's school show up, start drinking, and then rub up against strangers whose name they'd never learned. Eventually Finn himself joined in the excitement, pouring cup after cup of beer and dancing against the crowd of sweaty bodies. He hadn't been planning on getting wasted, but then he spotted Raven across the room with her hands tangled in Bellamy’s curls, and he figured he hadn't gotten drunk in a long, long time.

He'd been kissed by 2 girls, groped by 3 guys, and offered blowjobs by 5 people of various genders before Bellamy approached him.

Sweat lined every inch of his body, which was all exposed, since he had stripped down into only his underwear. He replicated the Rocky Horror creation, his abs glistening and his boxers a shiny gold color. Finn narrowed his eyes and gave Bellamy a once-over before snapping his head back up. Bellamy looked at Finn knowingly, but before he could accuse him of checking him out Finn opened his mouth to speak.

“I wasn’t aware this was a costume party,” Finn said, his voice raised over the loud music. His eyes fell back down to his torso, and Bellamy followed his glance. Finn heard him snort, and they simultaneously looked up at each other. Bellamy wore a coy face, and ostensibly stood straighter before replying.  

“It’s not.” He began. “This is what I normally wear.”

This time it was Finn who snorted. He almost turned away, having no desire to continue this conversation further, but he stopped himself. If he was going to make Raven happy, then he’d have to find some way to like this guy. And the first step in doing that would be to try listening to him when he talked. _God, the things I do for her._

Sourly, Finn exhaled. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t completely irritated.

Bellamy shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “I thought I’d introduce myself. Raven keeps saying that you want to meet me, so… here I am. I’m Bellamy.”

Finn wasn’t really sure what it was about Bellamy that bothered him. He just seemed like a total womanizer, and an asshole, and a generally callous person  -- but that was just an assumption, an opinion with no evidence to support it. He had to try to remember that if Bellamy was really a bad person, Raven wouldn’t stay with him. That meant he had to give him a chance, and not assume anything.

Finn looked him over again, and pursed his lips. “If you hurt Raven, I swear --”

He was interrupted by Bellamy’s laugh. “What are you, her father?” He smiled as he lifted his drink to his mouth and stared off at something behind Finn. He swallowed and looked back at him. “You don’t have to worry about that. She already gave me this same speech herself.”

Finn nodded, taking a sip from his own cup. “Alright, then.” He paused. “...Nice talk.”

Bellamy nodded. “Sure. Maybe we’ll talk again, if I’m not passed out within the next hour.”

With raised eyebrows, Finn muttered a sound of agreement. He looked down and saw Bellamy’s hand held out for a handshake. Finn, of course, accepted and shook it firmly. For some reason they lingered there for a few unnecessary seconds, hand in hand, before Finn pulled back. An expression of bemusement fell on Bellamy’s face, then one of graciousness, and then he turned away. Finn watched him down the rest of his drink before throwing the cup to the ground. Then he disappeared out of sight, into the large crowd of faces.

Finn stared after him with a dumbfounded expression. He was feeling a mixture of emotions, the strongest one being confusion, because after all that, he had no idea who the hell Bellamy was.

He elected to ignore his growing doubts, and spun around into the mouth of the dance floor. A stranger grabbed him by the hem of his pants, and in less than a minute he let himself get probably the worst blowjob of his life.

* * *

He was awoken by someone forcefully shaking his shoulders. Slowly he peeled his eyes open, but his vision was blurred, and the only image he could discern was the clock on the wall opposite him. The hands moved in a slow circle and time seemed to proceed at the same leisurely pace as if he was still asleep. Faintly he heard a quiet murmuring sound, but he was too tired to listen. When he felt a pounding in his head, an obvious foretelling of a hangover, he shut his eyes again and decided that he would rather sleep than suffer the miserable consequences of last night. Then a hand struck Finn hard across his face and his eyes snapped back open.

His eyesight and hearing were perfectly clear now, but, Finn realized with a groan, his headache was now in full effect. A deep frown grew on his face, and he looked up to find Bellamy leaning over him, his eyebrows contorted in worry.

“Did you slap me?” Finn asked with a clear note of disgust. He got up on his elbows, and realized that he was laying on the wooden living room floor, surrounded by used plastic cups and other various items of garbage. The whole place seemed to be trashed -- in this room only, Finn noticed a broken lamp, a puddle of some kind of liquid, and shattered glass dispersed across the floor. And that was just the _living room_. Finn shuddered to think about the damage the rest of the house had taken.

Above him, Bellamy looked much like he had last night. He was still shirtless, his hair was still tousled as if he’d just gone on a helmetless motorcycle ride; the only difference Finn saw was that he decided to put a pair of jeans on. And he was grinning. A small, slightly bashful grin, but a grin nonetheless. “Yeah,” He told Finn. “You’re lying in the middle of my floor which is really interfering with the obvious cleaning-up that needs to be done. I tried shaking you but it didn’t work.”

“So you _slapped_ me?!” Finn cried.

Suddenly Bellamy grew defensive. “What did you expect me to do?” He snarled, narrowing his eyes. “You’re lucky I didn’t grab you by your feet and kick you out the door, _Finn_.” He spoke his name as if it was poison.

At that point Finn noticed the dark bags under his eyes and the tired way which he moved, and he considered that Bellamy might be suffering from the same headache that he was. For that reason Finn took pity, and decided to let it go. He didn’t have the energy to fight anyway.

He pushed himself into a regular sitting position and was unsurprised when it came as a struggle to move his muscles. When Finn got hangovers, he got _bad_ hangovers, and from what he remembered of last night he doubted he took it easy on himself. He rested a hand on his stomach and raised his glance to look at Bellamy. Slowly he lowered himself to the floor and sat opposite from Finn, his arms resting on his knees and his eyes cast downward. Finn involuntarily raised an eyebrow. You gonna stay a while? he almost said, but he decided against it. Instead he questioned, “What happened last night?”

Without looking at him, Bellamy replied, “Crazy shit. What do you remember?”

Finn thought about it and then scoffed. “Not much. I had a drink, then I went to the dancefloor, I had another drink... I talked to you.... I had probably 3 or 4 more drinks, I -- ” He scoffed again “ -- got a blowjob. That’s pretty much it.”

Bellamy looked smugly amused, and every part of Finn bet that he was going to make some sort of remark, but he didn’t. Rather, he cleared his throat and began an in-depth explanation of last night’s events. “After I had my conversation with you, and probably while you were getting blowed, Raven and a couple other girls were playing beer pong on the back deck. I was outside with them, completely oblivious of the crazy shit going on inside. We went back in to find idiots microwaving metal, cooking the cat in the oven, making drug deals in the dining room, and breaking probably every glass object in the house.” Bellamy rubbed his eyes tiredly and exhaled a long, drawn out breath before beginning again. “I’m not sure what you were doing in that time, but I’m fairly positive that I saw you and John Murphy fucking around. Don’t know how that left off, but…” Bellamy’s tone was suggestive and now it was Finn dropping his face into his hands. He rubbed his skin roughly, as if he could wipe away the evidence of his interaction with Murphy for good. The attempt just made Bellamy laugh.

“Dammit,” Finn muttered. “Of all the people, I decide to screw around with _Murphy_?”

Bellamy was still laughing. “Do you know the rumors about him?”

“Yes, I know the rumors about Murphy. But forget it. How did it end?”

Bellamy’s laugh died away as he was reminded of last night’s terrible excuse for a party. “Right. Things were getting out of control, it was getting close to 2 A.M. -- it was a matter of time before one of my pisshead neighbors called the police. But before that could happen, Raven had the excellent idea to play some police siren noises over the amps. Once people heard them, they feared for their lives, and were too high to look outside and see that there were no actual lights or cars or any sign of police anywhere. It was kind of funny to watch,” Bellamy admitted. “The only person that stayed was you. Well, you were passed out, so you obviously didn’t have a choice in staying, but I had to deal with you anyway. I was feeling like a good person, so after I got Raven into bed, I lifted you off the floor and onto the couch so that at least you could sleep comfortably.”

Finn cocked his head to the side. “Then why did I wake up on the floor?”

Bellamy furrowed his brows. “How the fuck should I know? You’re probably a spastic sleeper.”

After a moment, they both started laughing. Finn felt a warmness grow inside him, and even his blaring headache dulled slightly. “Well, thanks.” He said. “I’m sorry that your place is trashed. I’ll help you and Raven clean it up.”

Bellamy nodded appreciatively but pursed his lips. “You can help me, but I personally can’t picture Raven coming out of the bathroom anytime soon. She’s been puking all morning.”

Instantly, a look of concern grew on Finn’s face. “What?” He breathed, moving to get up. “Is she okay? I’d better go --” But he was cut off by Bellamy, who placed his hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the floor.

“I wouldn’t do that,” He advised. “You do _not_ want to bother Raven when she’s hungover. You’ll probably end up splattered in barf and partly strangled.”

Finn hesitantly sat back down while simultaneously giving Bellamy a strange look. “You sound like you know from experience.”

Bellamy solemnly nodded his head. “I do.”

* * *

After they both had a couple glasses of water, they began reconstructing the house. The mostly worked in silence by themselves, but sometimes Finn would catch Bellamy stealing glances at him, and they would both avert their eyes awkwardly and pretend like it never happened. As the time passed, Finn realized that the place had received far more damage than what he had noticed first this morning, and it took a lot longer to clean up than Finn had estimated. Eventually they began drifting apart, Bellamy to one end of the house and Finn the other. However, the house wasn’t that large, and even from the other side of the property Finn picked up Bellamy’s voice as a sang a slow song.

Finn slowly wandered to where Bellamy was. He didn’t mean to get caught, but he did, and when Bellamy noticed he jumped and reddened. “Oh, sorry about that. I was just…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Finn assured, just as embarrassed as him. “I thought it was nice.” Then he strayed back to his end of the house and grinned when he heard Bellamy’s voice again.

Once the cleaning was finished Bellamy led Finn to the front door, thanked him for the Doritos, and said it was nice meeting him. Finn agreed and requested that he tell him (over text, as he had just given Bellamy his number) when Raven resurrected and how she was holding up. Bellamy complied and they smiled at each other. The final words spoken between them were about how they should meet up again sometime, just the three of them, for dinner. Or something. Then Finn left and it was done.

Yesterday he’d entered this house with all sorts of assumptions about Bellamy. Today he was leaving with more questions than answers. However, if there were two things that Finn could take away from all this, the first one would be that Bellamy wasn’t a _complete_ asshole. The second thing was that he had a very nice singing voice.

* * *

About a week and several text conversations later, Raven and Finn organized a dinner at a local Bar and Grille between the two of them. These were the usual circumstances that they met up in; though parties like the one last weekend _did_ tend to happen, especially during this time of the year. Exams were the worst, and it usually took a lot of alcohol to both prepare and recover from them.

“But we can only be so stereotypical.” Raven often said. “We’re in college! Let’s defy the norm and have dinner like the middle-aged suburban adults we are.”

In addition to all that, Finn just really needed to be in a peaceful, friendly setting after the difficult week of classes he’d just finished. He hadn’t actually had an ‘easy week’ since high school, if he was being honest with himself, and the best way to cope with that was by meeting with Raven. He did have friends on his own campus, like Jasper and Monty, but they had their own (slightly homoerotic) agenda to attend to, and Finn frequently felt like a third wheel in their presence. Raven was someone Finn knew he could always rely on, no matter what the situation. He liked to think she felt the same way towards him too.

They were scheduled to meet at 7, but Finn had arrived slightly early to watch a hockey game. The bar’s huge TV screen was probably 3 times the width of his own television and it was much more appealing to watch on there. He was so into what was happening on the screen that he didn’t notice when Raven entered and sat down in the chair opposite him. Only when he heard her laugh did he spin around and get his first glance of her…

…and Bellamy standing over her shoulder.

“Earth to Finn, I’m starving. Unglue your eyes from the TV and give me a menu. At this point I’d eat my dog.” Raven tore the menu from Finn’s hands and began scanning it immediately.

“No you wouldn’t.” Bellamy interjected, grabbing a chair from another table and wrapping his jacket over it. “You would sacrifice yourself for Chuckles any day of the week.” He looked at Raven and smiled fondly, and slowly, she smiled back.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Raven admitted. “But if I had a cat, I would eat it without hesitation.” She nodded and shrugged out of her own coat. She scanned the menu for a few more seconds before seemingly deciding on something, then she looked up. “Oh, Finn, I hope you don’t mind -- I brought Bellamy. He got out of work early so I invited him to come along.”

Finn nodded, trying to hide the dismayed look on his face. He knew after last weekend’s events that Bellamy wasn’t as bad as he’d always made him out to be, but these meet-ups between him and Raven had always been somewhat personal. With Bellamy here, Finn suspected things would be much more uncomfortable; for him, at least. But of course he couldn’t tell Raven that.

“That’s fine,” He lied. “I just wish I’d known, I would’ve brought someone too.”

Raven raised her eyebrows and shook her head rapidly. “Oh, no Finn! This isn’t a date or anything. This is just dinner between us friends. I mostly invited Bellamy because I didn’t want to leave him home without anything to eat. I mean, I could’ve done that, but I’m feeling particularly kind today.” At that comment Bellamy pushed Raven playfully and she pushed him right back. They both laughed and the empty feeling inside Finn expanded. _So much for a happy evening._

“Let’s order, shall we?” Bellamy said with a grin.

* * *

Raven finished her meal inhumanly fast. Apparently she hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and it showed when she downed a whole cheeseburger, a bowl of soup, and a side of pasta in 10 minutes. Unfortunately they rarely talked -- which was what Finn had been looking forward to most -- and he only sometimes exchanged smiles with Raven and awkward glances with Bellamy. However, he did happen to be quite hungry, which worked out in his favor. At least this way he could focus on his food rather than picking at it awkwardly.

Not long after she finished eating, Raven spotted a friend whom she called Anya and excused herself to say hello. This left Finn alone with Bellamy, and when they realized this they both tensed up uncomfortably. Finn quickly decided that he just wouldn’t talk; he would rather continue to eat in silence that suffer through an even more awkward conversation with his best friend’s boyfriend. However, Bellamy clearly thought differently.

“You look different from when I last saw you,” He said in a low voice. He sounded confident, but his posture showed how nervous he really was. He sat with both elbows on the table and his shoulders hunched over lazily, and the way he played with his fingers was an obvious sign of discomfort. Finn was a psychology major, he paid attention to this kind of stuff.

Finn put down his fork and folded his hands in his lap. He looked up and met Bellamy’s eyes with almost a challenging nature in his glance. “How so?” He asked, quirking his head just slightly. He was at a crossroad, unsure whether he should make Bellamy aware of his bitterness or if he should play nice like a responsible adult would do. But he wasn’t a real adult -- not yet, anyway -- and he had plenty of things to say to Bellamy that he wasn’t sure he could hold back any longer.

“You look… like a healthy, stable human being,” Bellamy observed, a slow grin forming on his face. “It definitely doesn’t look like you got your cock sucked last night, probably by John Murphy.”

When Finn was reminded of the memory, he twisted his face in disgust and let out a huge groan. Bellamy laughed, and at the sound Finn pursed his lips. His amusement should’ve angered Finn more, but it only made him feel like smiling. He resisted the urge and instead took a drink of his beer, staring off at another part of the room. He felt Bellamy’s calculating eyes watching him, but he ignored them and instead he decided on his next words.

“You look pretty different yourself.” He began, and finally turned his head to look at Bellamy. “I’ve never seen you wear a shirt before.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrows and Finn was pleased to hear his laugh die away. “Well,” he said, “Is it a good different or a bad different?”

Finn snorted and take a bite out of his food. But Bellamy took that as a sign that he was finished with the conversation, and a dismal look fell on his face. He was obviously looking forward to Finn’s answer for some reason or another, and that fact made Finn feel like laughing. He didn’t, though, and viewed Bellamy with a serious expression.

“I’m just going to be honest here,” He said, leaning forward in his seat. “I wish you weren’t here. I had a terrible week, and all day I’ve been looking forward to this dinner with my best friend. But since you’re here, things are so much more awkward and uncomfortable and this whole experience is -- I keep trying to --” He was a loss for words, not meaning to sound too harsh but needing to get his point across. He took a breath and raised his head. “Look, I was always doubtful of you, from the minute Raven first mentioned your name. When I met you at the party I was at a loss. Then the next morning I decided you weren’t so bad because you were singing one of my favorite songs and you obviously cared about Raven so much that I _had_ to like you. But I really wouldn’t be able to take it if you got between my friendship with her. I know how selfish that sounds, but --”

“I understand,” Bellamy interrupted, and Finn's mouth snapped shut. Now it was Finn that watched him, while Bellamy’s eyes focused on something distant and unknown. “You’ve known her for a decade, and I’ve known her for a couple months. When it comes down to it, you’d pick her over me, every time. No question about it.” His jaw clenched, and Finn narrowed his eyes. He had no idea where Bellamy was going with this, but he was interested; so interested that he moved his plate and bent over the table, straining to hear Bellamy’s strangely soft voice. Bellamy never seemed like the modest type, but hell, Finn had been learning a lot of new things about him over the past week. “I just want her to be happy, Finn. And I know you’re a big source of her happiness, so I need us to be on good terms. I realize that me being here tonight probably wasn’t a good idea, and I should’ve thought of that before I accepted her offer, but I was just hoping that the sight of us together would make her happy. She’s had a rough week too, you know.”

They held each other’s glance for a few seconds while Finn tried to think of a response, but he was cut short when Raven came bouncing back over. As she plopped down in her seat, the both of them instantly sat straighter and returned their attention to her.

“What the hell, you guys _still_ aren’t finished? I came back so that we could order dessert, and you’re not even done. Ugh, I’m ordering anyway,” She said before grabbing the dessert menu.

Bellamy slowly turned his head to look back at him, and Finn nodded back. He mouthed the word friends and gave a small smile. As soon as Bellamy comprehended that one word, his face lit up and he nodded gratefully. Then they returned to their plates as if nothing happened, finishing their meals with sudden bursts of satisfaction.

The three of them enjoyed the next hour or so together, watching the last of the hockey game, making meaningless bets and indulging in a few (or more) beverages. Finn had overall felt better after his short yet meaningful conversation with Bellamy, and while they weren’t all of the sudden best friends, they did allow themselves to laugh at each other’s jokes and clink their glasses together. Raven couldn’t be more pleased by their sudden friendliness, at one point saying, “Why didn’t you act like this during dinner? It would’ve made everything slightly more tolerable.” They all laughed and took another drink. Finn smiled as Raven took him and Bellamy under her arms and hugged them close to her.

* * *

When it came time to leave, Finn approached Bellamy with a concerned look. “You good to drive?”

“No, but I am,” Raven interjected from next to him, her smile wide and affectionate. She grabbed Finn and pulled him in for a great hug, her hand rubbing the back of his neck fondly. “Thank you for doing this, Finn. I don’t think you know how much I appreciate it.”

Finn held her tightly around her waist and smiled into her hair. “I do know. I had a really good time.” He assured her, and pulled away gently. Then his eyes fell on Bellamy. He had his hand held out for Finn to shake, but Finn pushed it aside and wrapped his hands around him, hugging him just as tightly as he had Raven. Bellamy was slow to reciprocate, but he eventually let his arms wrap around Finn’s middle. “It was nice to see you, Bellamy,” He told him, patting his back. “We should talk again soon.”

“Well, you have my number,” Bellamy said, and Finn laughed at the memory. They simultaneously pulled away from each other, their eyes lingering until Finn nodded and smiled at the two of them. They exchanged their final goodbye’s before heading their separate ways back to their cars.

Finn kept smiling until he got home.

He’d finally decided on his opinion of Bellamy. He was loyal, protective, and slightly cocky -- but his intentions were noble. He cared about Raven just as much as Finn did, and he was willing to do anything if it meant keeping her safe. He had an appreciation of humor, but an awareness of the appropriate times to be serious. He was handy, ambitious, and honest -- and while Finn was sure Bellamy had plenty of flaws yet to be revealed, there were none so bad as to make him unlikable. Even this whole ‘friend’ thing didn’t seem so bad anymore, after tonight’s encounter.

For one of the first times, Finn found himself thinking, _I hope this one lasts._

* * *

 Over the next few weeks, Finn’s life became increasingly better. Not that his classes were getting any easier, but the stress and overall pressure placed on his shoulders was lowered. Finn found that the less time he spent isolated, shut up in his walls with no one to listen to his musings, the healthier he felt. A good, long conversation on a semi-regular basis really aided in lifting his spirits no matter who it was he spoke to. He understood that going for days at a time without genuine human communication was destructive -- his teachers and classmates didn’t count -- and really started to make an effort to interact. Finn met with some of his old work friends, or sometimes Jasper and Monty, but most frequently, it was Bellamy.

He learned that Bellamy worked in an auto shop just a few blocks away from campus, so close that Finn could ride his bike there in between classes or even during his lunch break. Early on, Finn would only visit him once or twice a week, but it quickly progressed into being a daily thing. If Finn was only able to visit briefly, then they would talk very quickly about one of Bellamy’s latest jobs, or how Finn’s last class went. If Finn had a long break period, then they would both sit down, relax, and catch up on things in their personal lives. Sometimes, Finn even helped Bellamy with car repairs.

(One time Finn got so greasy that Bellamy had to give him the shirt off his back so as to prevent him from going back to class looking like a homeless person.)

Very quickly Bellamy transformed from being Finn’s best friend’s boyfriend into Finn’s own friend. They always greeted each other with a handshake and occasionally a hug when Bellamy wasn’t sweaty and grease-stained. They’d learned each others likes and dislikes: Bellamy loved dogs, Real Madrid, and lasagna. He hated Toyota’s, flying on airplanes, and milk. Finn learned about Bellamy’s family: Octavia was his sister and partner in crime, Aurora was his mother that moved across the country with the man she loved, and he’d never met his father, but they communicated with each other and planned on meeting someday. Finn learned about his past jobs, relationships, education; and his future dreams, aspirations, goals. Finn learned more about Bellamy than he had any business knowing. Of course, Finn shared all his details back with Bellamy, but he doubted Bellamy found him the slightest bit as interesting as he found him.

Eventually, Finn realized that he spent far more time with Bellamy than with Raven. Of course she had her own classes to attend to a few cities away, which made it difficult for her to meet with them unless it was at the end of the day. Finn understood that. And he was saddened by it.

But the scariest realization was that he didn’t need Raven there to be happy. Bellamy provided all the happiness necessary, and more.

One day they were relaxing in a lounge near Bellamy’s work while Raven was in one of her night classes. Sitting next to each other on a couch, they were watching strangers play a game of pool and drinking from their bottles of beer. Finn was very invested in the game, with a personal fixation for the team playing for solids. His arm was casually draped over Bellamy’s shoulder, and he would occasionally let his fingers trace patterns on his jacket while he drank from his bottle or told a joke. But once, at a moment when he was especially focused on the game, he felt Bellamy’s head fall on his shoulder and nuzzle against his skin. Finn tensed instantly, his mind quickly jumping to conclusions like _he’s just drunk and tired_ and _it was a mistake, he’ll move any second now_. But Bellamy didn’t jerk away -- in fact, he nuzzled his head, finding a more comfortable position against his body while his curls tickled the skin of Finn’s neck. Finn loosened up, accepting Bellamy’s position and even resting his own head on top of his.

“Aren’t you happy?” Finn heard Bellamy ask a few minutes later.

“Hmm?” He mumbled, his eyes opening. He only then realized that he’d drifted, so comfortable and warm with Bellamy sprawled all over him that he forgot to stay awake.

“Solid’s just won. Isn’t that who you were rooting for?”

A wave of understanding passed over him and a smile found its way onto his face. “Oh. Yeah. But that’s not why I’m happy.”

* * *

 As soon as Raven came back into the picture, Finn’s make-believe and fantastical thoughts quickly vanished. It was out of line for him to be thinking this way -- whatever ‘this way’ was --  about his best friend’s boyfriend, not to mention childish. And he was reminded of that whenever he saw Raven’s smile when she was with Bellamy, or when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him. They were both unconditionally in love with each other, and Finn would hate himself if he got between them.

Overtime, Finn visited Bellamy less and less. His guilt consumed him, and being around Bellamy just made him feel worse. First off, because his presence reminded Finn of his treasonous thoughts, and secondly, because he knew that he could never have him.

It was another Friday night, however many months later, and Finn once again found himself at Bellamy’s place. But this time there were no guests and no party; just the three of them, lounging around in the living room and playing an old board game that Finn remembered from when he was young. He had been obsessed with it -- but now, he failed to see the appeal.

“This is probably the stupidest game ever,” Finn mumbled, which earned him a dirty look from the both of them.

“Oh, you’re only saying that because you’re losing!” Raven laughed as she spun the wheel. “When we were kids, we played this all the time -- you remember that, right? And you loved it because you always won.” She raised her eyes and smirked at him before moving her car 9 spaces forward. “But now that you suck, you’re complaining.”

Bellamy nodded in agreement. “This is the first time I’ve ever not lost against you.” He said, then turned to look at Finn. “Thanks, Finn. I owe you one.” He patted him on the shoulder and gave him the widest grin, his fingers lingering far too long to be accidental.

Finn averted his eyes uncomfortably. He felt Bellamy’s grip loosen in disappointment, and as soon as his fingers trailed off Finn’s skin he slumped his shoulders over lifelessly. When he chanced to look up, he saw a regretful look on Bellamy’s face and he felt like hitting himself. But instead he cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, whatever. If we played Monopoly or cards or something, I could beat you. Life is just silly.”

“Here we go again.” Raven chided. She was about to give him a full defense of the the game, leaning forward in her seat and wetting her lips, but then her eyes fell on the wall clock opposite her. “Oh, shit! The pizza!” With raised eyebrows, she jumped out of her seat and dashed into the kitchen. “I was supposed to pick it up 10 minutes ago! You assholes distracted me!” Finn heard the clinking of keys and watched as Raven appeared a few seconds later, coat on and her keychain wrapped around her fingers. “Be right back!” Were her last words before she disappeared out the door.

Finally, Finn was left alone with Bellamy.

He felt his judging eyes on him and shuddered. Finn knew he couldn’t avoid talking to him forever, but he could sure as hell try. He felt like terrible whenever he spoke one word to Bellamy, because while his mouth said one thing, his mind said another. Finn’s thoughts were poisonous, and they completely corrupted the way he acted around Bellamy; they used to be friends, they used to be more than comfortable around each other, but then Finn got an idea about him and Bellamy in his head that would never go away, and would furthermore effect Finn’s entire perception of him. The smarter part of his brain frequently reminded him of Raven, which he was thankful for. Because otherwise, Finn wouldn’t be able to hold himself back for a second.

“Finn,” he heard, and much against his will, he ignored it. Perhaps he was being immature for shutting him out like this, for pretending that he didn’t exist. Perhaps he was just avoiding the inevitable, which was heartbreak and loss and embarrassment.

“Finn,” he heard again, this time much more forceful. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head.

“Finn!” Bellamy wailed, and when Finn glanced up he saw him jump out of his seat and kneel before him. He placed a hand on his leg and stared at him with a concerned look. An involuntary shiver went up Finn’s spine and he mentally scolded himself. Something as simple as a touch shouldn’t effect him so considerably, yet it did, and he moved his leg out from under him. Bellamy jerked away, clearly believing he’d done something wrong. Finn wanted to tell him that he was fine, that it was Finn’s fault all along, but he couldn’t formulate any words at that point. Bellamy did the talking for him.

“Listen to me. What’s wrong? You can talk to me, okay? Is it something I did?” His voice was laced with desperation and Finn hated to think that he was the cause of it. “Finn, listen… you haven’t been yourself the past few weeks, and I -- I need to know if it’s something I did. Cause if it is, trust me, I will do anything, _everything_ it takes to --”

That was more than Finn could take. His hands fell from his face and he leaned forward in his chair, bending over until his face was level with Bellamy’s. He reached for his hands and took them into his own, a sign that what he was about to say was genuine. Bellamy’s voice had disappeared, but his mouth still hung open in a round O and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Finn swallowed, and slowly began.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. Not a single fucking thing. If anything, you did everything _right_ , but… too right. Because, you’re the love of Raven’s life, and I’m supposed to be her best friend, but the way I’ve been feeling lately… if she knew, she’d hate me. _I_ already hate me for feeling this way about -- about you…” Finn pursed his lips and watched the ground. “But what I feel doesn’t matter. You and her deserve to be happy, and I’m terrible for getting in the way of that. I don’t even know why I’m here.” He made a move to get up. “I should be studying, I guess, or I could --”

The sudden feeling of Bellamy’s lips on his quieted his speech. Finn’s eyes widened and he was close to pushing him away, but then Bellamy’s hands cupped his cheeks and his fingers gripped his skin and he was powerless to refuse. Finn shut his eyes and slowly leaned into the kiss, stuck in a state of excitement and acceptance, and disbelief and self-loathing. Bellamy steadily pushed him against the back of the chair and tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss and making Finn’s heart beat out of his chest. Finn’s hands landed on Bellamy’s waist, but Bellamy’s hands were traveling all over the place, through Finn’s hair, down his neck, and eventually over his lips when he pulled away to breathe. He was back in a second, his tongue tracing over Finn’s teeth and his mouth gently sucking on his lips. When Bellamy finally tore himself off of Finn, they met each other’s eyes and bumped foreheads together.

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy said. “You had to know.”

When Raven returned, they finished the game (she won) and ate the pizza. They watched a movie and laughed and told stories of their weeks, and it was almost as if the kiss never happened -- but it had, and the look Bellamy gave him whenever they stole glances of each other was proof of it.

* * *

 They kept it a secret. They both knew how awful they were for it, but neither had any desire to hurt Raven with the truth of what they were doing. They believed that they could get away with it as long as their meetings were private, and when they were all three together, they hid every sign of their affections.

But eventually, as they lay in bed, their limbs tangled together and sweat sticking to their skin, Bellamy expressed his strained feelings.

“I hate this,” He said, and Finn felt like his heart was being clutched and slowly ripped from his chest. “I hate meeting in secret, I hate hiding this from everyone. I hate picturing Raven’s reaction if she found out. I hate seeing you when I’m with her, and having to hold myself back. You’re almost finished with this semester, we should be planning a vacation to celebrate -- but we’re here in your cramped apartment with the door locked and blinds closed.”

Finn exhaled against Bellamy’s neck. He traced patterns on his stomach while he thought of a response, but the only words he could come up with were _I know, I’m sorry, I love you._ “Do you know how much I want to take you out to dinner?” He whispered. “You know how much I hate the fact that I can’t buy you a meal, because someone might see us and we’ll be ruined forever?” Finn looked up, expecting to meet Bellamy’s eyes, but he was looking away. Finn craned his neck to place small kisses on his jaw and down his neck. “I hate it too,” He mumbled between kisses. “But this is all we have. This is the best we can do. I think we should just… accept it.”

Finally Bellamy looked at him. His lowered eyebrows and pursed lips were a clear sign of his seriousness, and Finn looked up curiously. Bellamy lifted a hand and it landed on his face. His thumb rubbed circles along his cheek, and Finn stopped breathing. Then he spoke.

“I have to tell her.”

Finn jerked away and squirmed out of his grip. “What? No. Bellamy, you can’t… why would you say that?” If Raven found out about them, the friendship they’d been building for the past 15 years would be for nothing. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he’d never hear from her again, and then he’d _really_ be alone. The thought was terrifying enough for him to unravel himself from Bellamy’s hands and slide to the other end of the bed.

Bellamy was hurt. The despair he felt was evident when he didn’t immediately go after Finn. But after some time he crawled back over to where Finn lay and nuzzled his face in his neck. Finn was almost positive that he felt tears coming from Bellamy’s eyes. “I can’t live like this,” He choked.

Finn sighed. He was upset with Bellamy, but that didn’t prevent him from wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. “It’s okay. We’ll get through this,” he assured, rubbing his back comfortingly. At that moment, he knew there was only one thing he could say to set things right -- one phrase that, while he’d never said it before, Finn knew would make Bellamy understand. He lowered his mouth to his ear and whispered, “I love you.”

Through his tears Bellamy managed to laugh. “I love you too, idiot.”

* * *

It was June. Classes were long over, and for that Finn was grateful. It was one less thing to stress about, which was, in his situation, extraordinarily helpful. He already felt like he had the world resting on his shoulders _without_ school -- now, for the first time in months, Finn could breathe. However, despite his newly freed schedule, he was able to see Bellamy less and less. They’d entered his busy season, and he was kept at work during the most obscene hours. Raven was busy with her job too, so when Finn saw Bellamy, it only made sense for her to come along too. Sometimes it was weeks before Finn got to spend an evening alone with Bellamy; but when they were lucky enough to get a few hours together, Finn made sure not to waste them.

It was a Friday afternoon. Bellamy had gotten an invitation from his sister earlier in the week about a party at her boyfriend’s house up in the city. Naturally, Bellamy invited both Finn and Raven along with him, and they both agreed. It was the perfect opportunity for Finn and Raven to meet Octavia, who they had only seen pictures of, and Bellamy quietly informed Finn that Lincoln (Octavia’s boyfriend) had a huge house with many, many lockable rooms.

It was a huge property. There was an in-ground pool in the backyard and a fountain in the front; the patio had a bar, a fireplace, several tables and even more chairs; the house itself was huge, with 4 floors, an indoor gym, a spa, an elevator, and more bedrooms than he could count. And that was just what Finn saw on the quick tour given to him by Octavia.

“Damn, O. You really scored with this one.” Bellamy told her, nudging her side gently.

She grinned, crossing her arms over her chest smugly. “I know. I promise, I’m only partly in it for the money.”

People began arriving soon after them, and in no time the pool was filled, the music was blaring, and the drinks were being consumed in innumerable amounts. Finn did a little bit of everything, not putting any restraints on himself as he had a designated driver. Lincoln had hired a professional bartender that could make any drink in the world, and Finn probably tried most of them. He met tons of people, including a girl named Lexa who was an up-and-coming soccer player, a guy named Wick who was an engineer, and another guy named Miller, who, coincidentally, attended the same school as Finn.

“That guy over there,” Miller began, nodding his head at Bellamy who was standing with his sister. “You know him? He’s pretty hot.”

When Finn saw who he was referring to, he laughed. “Yeah,” he agreed, “he is. But he’s got a girlfriend.”

At one point Finn heard _that_ song play, the one he heard Bellamy sing ages ago. He searched the crowd for his face, and when he found him, he saw Bellamy grinning right back at him.

* * *

It was getting late, and most people were getting drunk out of their wits. Finn was probably one of those people, but fortunately for him he had someone to care for him. When Finn met up with Bellamy, he was stumbling around and laughing so hard he could hardly stay on his feet. Bellamy grabbed him by the waist, steadying him and laughing. “Woah,” he said. “You’re fucking hammered.” He got him a glass of water and sat him down on a couch near the outskirts of the bottom floor. There were people around but not nearly enough to care, and when Finn and Bellamy sat next to each other they just looked like friends.

“I think you should take it easy for the rest of the night,” Bellamy told Finn with a small smile. “I don’t want you getting sick.”

“I’m fine, really!” Finn’s words were slurred and he when he burped, he laughed, but he was too drunk to care. He learned towards Bellamy with a coy look on his face, and moved his hand up his thigh. “I’m good enough to blow you ‘till you scream.” He tilted his head up to kiss him, but Bellamy pushed him away with a laugh.

“Not here… but maybe we can work something out.” Bellamy observed him lustfully, and when he teasingly bit his lip Finn felt himself harden.

Octavia was talking with someone on the other side of the room, so they called her over and asked for her help (after Bellamy made her promise she wouldn’t speak a word about them being together, which she did; in fact, she seemed thrilled to be involved in the secret and was glad to help them out.) They went up the stairs so as to be less noticeable and Octavia showed them into a large room with a balcony, a bathroom, and huge french doors.

Finn stared in awe at the huge, luxury bedroom that was probably bigger than his whole apartment. Bellamy, on the other hand, stared at Finn.

From behind them, Octavia chuckled. “Have fun, kids. But not too much fun -- you have to walk out of here in a couple hours, you know.” Finn heard the door close behind them, and shifted his glance to Bellamy.

Seconds later Bellamy was laying on his back, pants around his ankles and cock sticking up under his boxers. Finn straddled his lower legs and dropped his head to his thighs. He kissed up Bellamy’s skin while sliding his hands under his ass and squeezing roughly. Bellamy’s shrill moan made his cock throb, and his movements became more urgent. He placed quick kisses on his bulge while slowly tempting the boxers down past his waist. He took hold of them with his teeth and pulled them down to his feet, watching Bellamy the whole time. His stomach moved up and down frantically and Finn clearly saw the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead even from his position.

As soon as his boxers we gone, Finn leaped back onto the bed. He bucked his hips against Bellamy’s waist while sending sloppy kisses down his neck. He held his hands against the bed in a tight grip and moved them with him while he made his way down Bellamy’s body. Finn watched as Bellamy panted, his eyes closed in agony and his hands clenched in fists. Finn grinned and took him in his mouth.

Instantly Bellamy groaned in approval, and Finn released his hands so that Bellamy’s fingers could tangle through his hair. His tongue swirled around his head and shrieked so loud the whole house was likely to hear it. Then he started yelling.

“Yes! Holy fuck, Finn! Oh my god, suck my dick, yes… fucking… Jesus Christ, please, harder… harder…”

His yelling was so loud that neither of them heard the door open behind them.

“You fucking assholes,” Raven breathed.

* * *

Miller had told her that he saw them go upstairs. Octavia forgot to lock the door. She heard yelling and walked inside, not thinking much of it.

Finn pleaded with her. He told her that he was an asshole and that he was so sorry, that he’d never meant to hurt her.

“Well, you did. You hurt me real fucking bad. I thought I could trust you, after so many fucking years I thought I could trust you… How long has this been going on? Days? Weeks? Months? How long have you been keeping this from me?” She pushed him against the wall. “How _dare_ you? I’ve done so much shit for you, Finn. I’ve been nothing but a good friend. But then you go and screw my boyfriend behind my back, the one good boyfriend I ever had… It would’ve been one thing if you’d told me how you felt. But you screwed him in the dark, probably thinking I’d never find out… well, I did. Fuck you, Finn. Actually, Fuck _Bellamy_ , Finn, because that’s what you want, right? Well, I’m not gonna stop you.” Then she backed away. However, she had to say one last thing before leaving. “Don’t ever, _ever_ talk to me again.”

Not even Bellamy could console him after that.

She left in a wave of tears and _fuck you_ ’s, and Finn locked himself in the bathroom. He cried for hours, he cried until it was far into the morning, and he cried harder when Bellamy knocked on the door, begging to let him in. He didn’t stop crying until he was passed out on the floor, asleep. And then when he woke up, he cried some more. Because from the other side of the door, Bellamy’s voice roused him from sleep with the worst news Finn had ever heard.

“Finn, you need to come out. There’s been an accident.”

* * *

Paralyzed. From the waist down. Her tears had blinded her from the truck speeding through the intersection.

Finn stayed in the waiting room. Raven had never wanted to see him again. So he stayed in the waiting room.

Through the window he watched Bellamy, leaning over the bed and kissing her forehead. Finn sat motionless.

* * *

 

Bellamy decided he needed to stay with Raven.

They didn’t see each other much after that. Sometimes Bellamy texted him to tell him he loved him.

* * *

It would’ve never worked out, anyway. Finn tried to find ways to recover but nothing ever really helped. It was rare for him to get through any day without crying.

Sometimes he played that song. Sometimes it helped.

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed it please let me know <3


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